Things you learn when you lose someone

With the passing of my father, I have learned many things:

1)  You don't really know who your friends are until that happens.  We've had true, heart-felt expressions of grief, love, and support from people that we never thought we would hear from and conversely, we haven't heard a word from people that we thought were dear friends.  

2)  Viewings are as much for others as they are for us.  The "wake" (or shiva for our Jewish in-laws) are just as much an opportunity for those in our community to come and grieve and to "do something" as it is for us (the family) to know we are supported.  It was wonderful to see the people dad had touched.

3)  We offered as much support as we received.  As the community came, I found myself comforting others as much as I was comforted.   I would offer words of consolation to those who came and couldn't seem to comprehend any more than we could.

4)  Saying, "I'm sorry" really is enough.  Having been on the other side and feeling that a handshake and an "I'm sorry for your loss" just didn't cut it, I can now say that it is really powerful.  You don't have to say much, just mean what you say.  At death, sometimes less is more and a heartfelt "I'm sorry" means much more that an attempt at some words of wisdom.  

5)  Thanks for making the effort.  I had friends drive from a new store opening over an hour away just to say "we're here for you" and another friend who dismissed his class early and drove an hour to just sit with me.  Friends from all over the country who sent e-mails expressing sympathy and an offer to call when I need.  All of this means more than you can imagine at a time like this.

These are all lessons that I've learned from an experience that we all know is coming some day, but came much too soon for me.  Thank you all for your love and support.

Passing of time

So, much has happened since my last post.  First and foremost, is the unexpected passing of my father, Douglas W. Johnson.  His obit read as follows:

JOHNSON Reverend Dr. Douglas W., of Ridgewood died October 17, 2008. Beloved husband of Phyllis (nee Heinzmann). Loving father of Kirk and wife April Johnson of Fair Lawn; Heather and husband Greg Walker of Ho-Ho-Kus; Kirsten and husband John Sharo of Midland Park; Tara and husband Evan Johnson of Midland Park. Adoring grandfather of Christel, Cole, Cory, and Carson Walker, and Stephanie, Patrick, and Ella Sharo. Devoted brother of Alex and wife Sherry Johnson, Wayland and wife Diana Johnson, Ralph and wife Sandy Johnson, Geraldine and husband Joe Oram, and the late Jerry Johnson. He was a member of the United Methodist Church in Ridgewood. Rev. Johnson was listed in several editions of 'Who's Who', and had authored 18 books and numerous articles. He taught sociology at Western Connecticut State College, and served several churches in Illinois and Massachusetts. In addition, he was the Director of Research for the National Council of Churches and for the General Board of Global Ministries for the United Methodist Church. He owned and operated American Home Entertainment in Ridgewood from 1992-2006. His family was incredibly important to him, and he always organized family trips. Rev. Johnson cooked family dinner for 17 every Sunday. In lieu of flowers, donations to Ridgewood United Methodist Church, 100 Dayton St., Ridgewood, NJ 07450 –OR- The Smile Train, 41 Madison Avenue, 28th Floor, NY, NY 10010 (www.smiletrain.org) would be appreciated.

What to do with your favorite jeans

Another "green" product that I'm learning about is the insulation called UltraTouch. It is an insulation with a high R value (amount of insulation offered), no formaldahyde (who wants to breathe in the stuff they used to preserve your dissected frog in 8th grade bio), mold and mildew resistant, and most of all, it's not itchy when you install it! What is it made of? Denim!!

This product is made from the by-products of jeans production. It is all that denim that ends up on the cutting room floor. It is cleaned, soaked in borax for fire resistance, shredded, and then made into batts that can be easily installed between the studs in your walls. It not only provides you with a nicer, safer product than the traditional fiberglass insulation, it reduces the amount of industrial product dumped into the landfills across the country.

I will be using this product (although it's more expensive than traditional fiberglass insulation) in my basement renovation. I will post my experiences here so that you can have some first hand information on ease of use and results.

Thoughts anyone?

Deadly Paint

As any regular reader knows, I have an interest in "going green". My recent research is into the world of home improvement. One of the topics that has come up, over and over, is the need for "green" paint. This is typically defined as one without "volatile organic compounds" or VOCs.

As happens frequently, there is the government definition of non-VOC and then there are manufacturer definitions. To decide what qualifies as non-VOC, I first had to find out what a VOC was and why it is harmful. I turned to two articles on WebMD. The first talks about environmental illnesses caused by toxins in our environment, and the second specifically tells you what VOCs are and what they can do to you.

According to my research, new paint can release VOCs into the air for up to one year after application. These VOCs can cause loss of coordination, liver damage, asthma, and some forms of cancer. Is this what you want as a side effect of repainting your bedroom?

Most major manufacturers offer low or non-VOC paints now. In addition, there are companies (like AFM) which offer only non-VOC paints and stains. If you are considering home renovation, I would encourage you to check this out.

Thoughts anyone?

DANGER

Here is a link to a news story from ABC's 20/20. It's regarding the sale of old (not used) tires in the US. Please take a look because it's wise to be informed!


http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4826897

Thoughts anyone?

Management Inbreeding

Here is the last in my current series on government accountability. I call it management inbreeding. This is when management perpetuates itself. That means that the Police Chief started as a patrolman in the same department and the Chief has always been "brought up through the ranks". Again, I'm using this as an example, it is prevalent in every department and division of government, not just the Police Department.

When a government agency promotes from within, as guaranteed by civil service, there is no real opportunity to change. There will be incremental changes as certain people change practices that they didn't like, or they realize didn't work well, but there will be no overhauls of the way things are done. There won't be any real studies to see if there are ways to do things better. Tradition overrules almost all attempts at change and since the new manager used to be "one of the gang" they won't risk losing life-time relationships to make changes that may serve the public better.

Don't think that volunteer agencies are better, in fact, they are usually worse. Since they recruit membership and are not bound by civil service regulations, they have a tendency to "weed out" those that do not share a similar vision as existing management. This is seen in the current "volunteer crisis" throughout the state of New Jersey. It is frequently bemoaned that there is no one willing to volunteer anymore, but that is not true.

This past weekend, I've spoken with three different people who took the time to go through the 130 hour EMT course and then volunteer on a local ambulance, only to become disgusted at the poor management and time wasting internal politics. The end result will be that these three people will stop volunteering and the local ambulance corps will continue to cry about its lack of volunteers. The problem is not the volunteers, they are out there in droves, its the management of the ambulance corps that lives and dies by the phrase, "We've always done it this way."

Again the question, how do we fix this? Is it time that all volunteer government agencies be headed by a paid, full-time professional? If so, who picks that person, what will their qualifications be, and how do we prevent them from becoming stagnant?

Thoughts anyone?

Identifying the problem

Yesterday I asked about how we improve service from government agencies. Today I want to discuss the first step in solving any problem.....identifying it. Many of us are not even aware that we can be (and in many cases, should be) treated to better service. The only way to discover this is to change localities and note the differing levels of service.

Here in New Jersey, much of the emergency services (fire and ems) have been provided by volunteers. This is slowly changing due to the fact that the number of volunteers has been steadily dropping (read tomorrow for that entry). The public has been very slow to address the issue of the change in service resulting from fewer volunteers.

Here is an example. The local ambulance corps' daytime membership drops to the point where they cannot guarantee a crew and have to rely on whomever happens to be in town at the time they receive a call. This means that there may be an ambulance on the road within 5 minutes of the call, or they may have to call to some of the surrounding towns (who are in the same situation) for assistance. The result can be up to a 45 minute delay in response. Unless you are the poor person needing an ambulance and waiting 45 minutes, you don't realize the danger that you are in. All you know is "those nice volunteers" are taking care of your emergency medical needs, but they really aren't.

This feeling results from the fact that some of your neighbors, who you are friendly with, have been volunteers for years and are really devoted to it. They do, in fact, devote hundreds of hours a year to training and response. They are committed and enjoy what they do. They also can't guarantee you an ambulance when you need it.

The same can be true of your police department, your building department, or whatever agency you name. It's always been that way and you've become used to it. The agency serves your needs adequately (maybe) during the limited times that you need it, so it doesn't occur to you that maybe the building department could put permitting on-line so you can apply for and receive a permit any time of day or night, or maybe your police department should have a fitness requirement so they don't look like they would collapse if they had to run after a fleeing felon. None of this would occur to you until you go to another jurisdiction and see what services THEY take for granted.

So, how do you correct this situation because you aren't aware that it exists? I don't have an answer, I merely pose the question. Perhaps we look to our state governments to provide specific service guidelines (ie an ambulance MUST be on the road within 10 minutes of the intial 911 call, the building department MUST issue non-contested permits within 24 hours of receipt, etc). Then the question is, who develops those guidelines and how do we keep them from being influenced by special interest groups? Perhaps we make all government agencies semi-private, they must answer to an elected board of directors, much the way corporations do.

Thoughts anyone?

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Government Accountability

It's an election year and much is going to be said about voting. It is EXTREMELY important that you vote in every election that you can. This is the way that you can make the most impact on what happens in your government. This national election will decide philosophy on taxation, entitlement, and government regulation. It tells our elected officials what the people are thinking about how government affects them.

That being said, now the question comes, how do we affect those who aren't elected? For most of us, our interaction with the government (aside from checks to the IRS), is on the local level. This interaction comes in the form of the local water utility, local building department, local tax authority, local garbage collector, and maybe the local emergency service. None of these people are elected and yet they are the ones that we are most likely to come in contact with. How do we have an effect on how that service is delivered? Unless we make it a public issue that causes embarrassment to the elected officials, the answer is usually, we don't.

Given that we are frequently treated poorly by some of these agencies and we have no recourse, how do we change the system to make it more responsive to the customer, in this case....us? How do we make the garbage man replace the lid on the can when he finishes dumping it? How do we make the TSA worker treat us politely and not like some convicted terrorist? How do we get the building department to issue permits in a speedy and helpful way? How do we get the motor vehicle representative to be polite?

Thoughts anyone?


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Scariest part about Nazis

I'm currently reading the book, The Nazis: A Warning from History, by Laurence Rees. It is a fascinating study on the rise of Hitler and some of the psychology behind it. The interesting part that is frequently glossed over in discussions of the rise of the Nazi Party and the resulting Holocaust is the fact that Adolf Hitler and his party came to power in a democracy. They were elected into office.

This book examines many of the frequent excuses and rationalizations that are used by historians to explain how this could happen. He looks at the oft used, "Germans are known for their efficiency and the Nazis provided that." and the other "They were following orders." He uses interviews with people who were in the government and who lived through the Nazis' rise to power to debunk most of these rationalizations.

What Mr. Rees eventually comes down to is a combination of pride and fear. Why do I discuss this here? Well, think back seven years and think about how we felt on that Tuesday in September. We were very afraid.....I know I was! We also had our pride demolished. Into that void rode "W". He provided us with quick answers and quick responses. We attacked Afghanistan because we needed to hurt somebody right away. We passed the Patriot Act because we needed to protect ourselves against "them".

I happen to agree with both these actions, even in retrospect, but we need to keep these emotions in mind as we move forward. We are in an election year, terrorism is not gone, and there will be much talk about who can better protect us from "bad guys." Take the time to study, to think, to reflect. Don't go for the easy answer, because there isn't one. Don't give up everything just to feel safe. As my boss frequently says, "If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't." Don't vote for someone who doesn't feel right. Think for yourselves.

Thoughts anyone?

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Do you work here?

Almost every business in the United States tells you that it is their goal to provide "superior customer service". I can tell you, that is very difficult. It is difficult not only because it is tough to find employees who are motivated to give excellent customer service, especially at the salaries retail feels are acceptable (but that is another posting), but it is also difficult because of the customer.

As a customer, I try to be aware of the level of service I get in places that I patronize. I also try to be aware of how I am behaving towards the people who are providing this service. It should be no surprise that the nicer I am, the nicer the associate is going to be. It is also important to note, that there are other factors involved.

One is, be aware of who you are talking to. If you find someone who is cleaning the store, stocking items on a shelf, pulling product around the store, or otherwise performing a function of the store, don't start your conversation with, "Do you work here?" Clearly they do and they are working at the time you approached them. You've now identified yourself as a needy person who is going to ask them a dumb question. You've irritated them and won't get as good a response as the person who interrupts them by saying something like, "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I need some help with...." You've acknowledged that they are clearly working and let them know you need them for something. That is their job, they are paid to help you and most will do it gladly.

Second, don't play let's make a deal. Unless you are at a bazaar in some foreign country where bartering is a way of life, most businesses in the US price their items at the price they expect to get. If there is damage or something wrong with the product, look for another, or ask if there may be an undamaged one available somewhere. Let the retailer offer a discount if there is no other option. Asking for money off automatically puts the associate on the defensive. Imagine how you would feel if someone asked you to perform your service or sell your product for less than you intended. Wouldn't you be instantly resentful? Wouldn't you want the option to offer a discount if there was no other way to satisfy the customer rather than having them start by asking for one?

Lastly, wait your turn. A customer who interrupts when an associate is helping others is going to identify themselves as someone who is rude and pushy. They will again raise a red flag, no matter how patient the associate is. Think of how much you enjoy being interrupted when someone is helping you with a problem.

Customer service, believe it or not, is a two-way street. You need to help yourself receive good customer service. Try it and see what happens. Post here and let me know how you make out.

Thoughts anyone?

Pedestrian courtesy

While returning from an ambulance call the other day, my fellow EMT and I were discussing the prevalent "Yield for Pedestrians in Crosswalk". My partner commented on how far society has fallen that we have to print something as basic as Please Don't Run People Over With Your Car on signs and put them in the middle of the street.

From there we progressed to discussing how the whole concept of crossing the street has turned into a war. There are pedestrians that will step into the crosswalk and expect traffic to stop instantaneously, thereby risking an accident. I had the experience of a pedestrian who held up her hand as if she was a traffic cop, as she boldly walked across the street in front of me. Since I was turning right into a driveway (which I was clearly signalling with my blinker) before getting to her crosswalk, I didn't slow down. This made her start angrily pointing at the crosswalk and glaring as she stepped further into my lane of traffic as if daring me to hit her. How smart is that (especially from a retired school teacher....I recognized her)?

Once again it comes down to basic morality. I was raised to respect others, and certainly "do not commit murder" is up there with respect. I therefore, would never consider not stopping for someone who is in front of, or about to be, my car in a crosswalk. I will always stop as I would expect most people to. As a pedestrian, I would wait for a break in traffic and then step into the crosswalk. Once in the crosswalk, I would expect traffic to stop for me either out of courtesy or at least out of respect for the law. This is all common sense people. Why has this become grounds for anger and debate? Why do we need dayglo signs to remind us of this basic courtesy?

Thoughts anyone?

Spam?

Did you know that Google can block a blog as a "spam blog"? I don't even know what a spam blog is. All I know is I'm back and writing again.



Much has happened since my last post in April. We've had the Democratic feeding frenzy with the Dems turning on their own golden girl and telling her the game is over. Does it sound like things are unfolding according to predicitions in one of my previous posts?

The price of oil has skyrocketed even as Americans are starting to learn to "go green". Our demand for oil is actually beginning to slow and possibly drop. Keep trading in those gas sucking SUVs and turning toward hybrids! By the way, did anyone in Detroit notice that while their sales are tanking, Toyota turned in one of the best quarters they've had? Could it be that the American people aren't as stupid as a Detroit executive? We need to use LESS GAS!! If you make SUVs and pickups that are hybrid, maybe your sales will begin to return, otherwise, learn to speak Japanese.



The stock market has begun to turn. Maybe our recession, as predicted by the market, has bottomed out and begun to improve.

A reader suggested less politics and more personal info here. That will come, but right now I only have time for the quick political comment.

Any thoughts?

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The Lorax Rocks!

So here's a news item. In 1971, Dr. Seuss published a book called the Lorax. I distinctly remember not only reading it, but watching the television special. As a 10 year old, I found it extremely moving and motivating. As a 46 year old, I find it's message still relevant and even more urgent.

The news item is that Dr. Seuss Enterprises, has announced that 10-15% of all profits from sales of the book and licensed products will go to the Lorax Project which is working to save various rainforests around the world. Regardless of whether you believe in global warming or not, you cannot deny that wholesale deforestation of such huge eco-systems is a problem.

Check out the website, see how you can help at home, and maybe pick up The Lorax
to read to your kid at bedtime tonight.

Potpourri

So, it's been a while. There are lots of things to talk about.

I continue to fight against mandatory full service in New Jersey. I resent paying extra to have a guy with a phone glued to his ear, come up and tap on my passenger side window and force me to lean over and give him my card....all this for 5 cents a gallon more!

It's school board election day here in New Jersey and voter turnout is miserably low. For all our talk of representative democracy and the power of the people, we are apparently willing to let a select few determine the direction of our children's education and our local tax burden. We'd prefer to stay home and watch American Idol!

I've gotten more e-mails about the site http://www.usawakeup.org/. It's got some real powerful and disturbing messages. I'll be researching it further, but the site is worth a look. Maybe some of our nostalgic looks back at our patriotic past could save our future.

Lastly, I'm looking to focus in on some of the many things that I write about. I've written about morality, EMS, politics (specifically what's happening in the Democratic Party), entitlement, New Jersey, environment. As a reader, which would you be most inclined to check in to read about?

Thoughts anyone?




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I have to agree with Bill

This weekend's debate over whether Obama is patriotic or not is more smoke and mirrors. I actually have to agree with Bill Clinton's remarks where he wishes that we had two decent candidates whose credentials were not in question and we could decide merely on the basis of their stand on issues. This is the wish of the majority of American voters. Alas, that will not be the case regardless of who the Democrats choose.

A reader asked in response to an earlier post, what are my thoughts on the 2008 election now. I stand by my original prediction which is that the Democrats will choose Obama as the flavor of the week. He is young, a great speaker, and not white. These make him the favorite of the ruling left wingers in the party. Add to this the fact that he is NOT Hillary, and that pulls in the disenfranchised middle and right of the party. I don't see them choosing Hillary because she is disliked, discredited, and married to Bill.

That being said, I still feel that the country will have a hard time not voting for McCain. There is still rampant racism in many areas of the country and the whole stir over Obama's pastor's remarks show that this will be exploited. The country also tends to be more to the center than Obama and while he has the younger vote, so did John Anderson in 80. They talk more than they vote. It will be interesting, but that's my current take on it.

Thoughts anyone?

Just Get on the Bus Gus

So oil prices have hit $111 a barrel last Thursday which brings our current gasoline prices higher than the "oil crisis" years of 1973-75. In spite of this, there has been no appreciable decline in the demand for oil. Why is this?

There are many reasons for this, but one that struck me as I motored home from the town next door is a lack of options. I live in a county of 1 million people just outside New York City and it would take me between 20 to 45 minutes to make the trip by bus that I just made in my car in 5. This is because our transit system of rail and bus assumes that the only place that people want to travel is to New York City for work. There is no easy way for me to go from town to town to go to a restaurant, my bank, shopping, or to visit friends unless I happen to be on a bus route that runs people into and out of "the City". Even if I am lucky enough to be on such a route (which I am), the schedule is still inconvenient because it requires the bus(es) to go from "the City" out to the end of its route and return. It does not run merely from town to town within the county.

It is time for transit systems (or maybe even private transport companies) to start thinking about filling in the holes. Not everyone wants to commute to the big cities that most transit systems are geared towards. People are going to be more likely to consider a quick bus ride to the local supermarket or restaurant in town as the cost of filling up the car exceeds $50 (at least). However, people will pay the $50 if it means saving them many hours of waiting for a bus or riding the bus into the city to transfer and ride out on a different bus just to travel to a town 3 miles away.

Transit officials frequently lament the poor ridership. Instead they should be thinking about how to provide new services. Quit thinking about the commuter and start thinking about everyone else! Quit thinking about standard size buses and start thinking about mini-buses. Quit thinking about full trains and start thinking about single cars or interconnecting light rail. Think outside the box and be surprised at how many riders you will gain!!

Thoughts anyone?

2008 Election

Here is an interesting article from Colorado. It backs up my feeling that we will eventually see Hillary lose the nomination and Obama lose the election. I feel that many of those Democrats (myself included) who are voting for Obama are not actually FOR Obama as much as they are AGAINST Hillary. Regular readers know that I will vote for almost anyone in order to deny Hillary the nomination. I think this is more common than our media is reporting.

Come November, however, I don't think the general population is going to elect a black liberal with supposed (though not true) Muslim ties who is thought to associate with a black extremist pastor. This is not a racist comment, as there are many black men (and women) that I would whole-heartedly support (Colin Powell anyone?). It is merely the fact that I don't think Sen. Obama is the right one, regardless of his color.

Like it or not, and my jury is still out, I think we need to get used to saying, "President McCain".

Thoughts anyone?

Extremism

Events of recent days have reminded (and inspired) me to talk of the dangers of extremism. Much is said in the press these days about the dangers of Islamic extremism. It is also frequently noted that such extremism generally runs counter to the underlying message of Islam.

A frequently overlooked, but just as dangerous, form of extremism is certain forms of rabid Christian fundamentalism. The far right, fire and brimstone, non-believers are going to hell, sort of Christianity is just as dangerous as Islamic extremism. Witness various deadly bombings of abortion centers in the name of Christianity. It is also the root of much of the white supremacy movements in the US. It is just as dangerous and ill-informed as the Islamic extremist movement.

In fact, extremism in any form is a danger. Democrats or Republicans who will vote
"the party line" without any thought or consideration are dangerous. Anyone who will blindly follow anything without due consideration becomes a danger. I guess the bottom line here is, think for yourself. There is certainly nothing wrong with (and actually a need for) passionate beliefs in things, but it should come after careful consideration and constant reevaluation.

Every action should be measured against the gold standard of the belief. Would Jesus stop associating with people because they didn't believe the way you do? I think not. Would Mohammed condone flying planeloads of women and children into a building for political gain? Again, I highly doubt it. Would FDR support a nationalized health care system? I'm thinking no.

Think for yourself. It only makes your faith stronger.

Thoughts anyone?

Hillary's Scorched Earth program

Hillary, in my humble opinion, has made a critical error for the Democratic party by allowing her desperate campaign to release this photo of Obama on a state visit to Kenya. In addition to making her look like the power-hungry, self-serving, morally bankrupt, woman that she is, it will provide fodder for those who oppose Obama in the general election. There are already e-mails circulating the internet falsely stating that he is a Muslim. His patriotism is in question, (in fact, even on this blog) due to a variety of missteps by him and his wife. It does no good, and should seal the deal on her quest for the throne. Just another example of why she shouldn't hold any position of power.....it has corrupted her absolutely.

Thoughts anyone?

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